Wednesday, February 29, 2012

What’s in a Name? Everything for These 29 Wines!

Happy Leap Year Day!  In honor of those who only get to celebrate their birthdays once every four years, and for the rest of us with an extra day on our hands – let’s celebrate with some weird and wacky wines.  Need some ideas?  Glad you asked… ; )

Those #@!*&%# Wine Names

Le Vin de Merde – This brand name was launched in 2008 as a toss back to critics who labeled the wines of this French region as crap. Cute name, but a serious wine, produced as a Grenache Noir and a Syrah.  (Sorry, available only in France.)

Fat Bastard –Created by Thierry (Boudinard) & Guy (Anderson), Fat Bastard is another French wine with a sense of humor.  The story goes that Thierry offered an experimental batch of wine to his good friend Guy saying, “Now zat iz what you call eh phat bast-ard,” and the rest is history!  Once again, a quality product that has sold over 400,000 cases in the U.S. alone.  Varieties include Cabernet, Merlot, Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Shiraz, and Sauvignon Blanc.

Bitch – R Wines winemakers, Chris Ringland and Lisa Wetherell, use fruit from the Barossa Valley in South Australia to produce their Bitch wines.  Both fun and approachable, the wines available include a Grenache, a Bubbly, and Sweet Bitch Chardonnay. I love the tag line: “It's so darn hard to bitch about the heat, when there is so much lip-smackingly good fruit!”   (No designated website.)

Sassy Bitch – Made from grapes coming from Chile’s Casablanca and Central Valley regions.  The Sassy Bitch lineup includes Chardonnay, Merlot, Cabernet and Pinot Noir. Distributed in select states throughout the U.S.  More of a generic GNO (Girls Night Out) wine than an earth shattering find.

Bastardo – This is actually a type of grape grown in Western Europe in small amounts.  The grape is mainly used in Port wines. Il Bastardo Winery, located in Tuscany, crafts this brand using Sangiovese grapes.
(No designated website.)


Fat Cat –Fat Cat Cellars in California offers five catty wines to choose from; Cabernet, Merlot, Pinot Noir, Chardonnay and Pinot Grigio.  All of their wines revolve around the jazz scene theme.  Pour a glass of Fat Cat, put on some Miles Davis, Cab Calloway, John Coltrane or Thelonious Monk, and you’re back in time at a late-night jam session.

Cat’s Pee on a Gooseberry Bush – Coopers Creek Vineyard of New Zealand produces a Sauvignon Blanc by this apt descriptive name. Touted as “A youthful, kittenish wine full of zing and zip,”  I was grateful they didn’t say “full of piss and vinegar….”  But I find them to be a purr-fect winery because they support the New Zealand SPCA (Society to Prevent Cruelty to Animals.) (No designated website.)

And in the same vein -

Frog’s Piss – A French wine created for Cheers Booze Cruise in Calais.  After reading several reviews, this appears to be one that holds true to its name. (No designated website.)

Elephant on a Tight Rope – A French wine from the Languedoc region.  Considered to be an everyday wine with balance.  This is a wine with a social conscience – they support the African Wildlife Foundation and the studies into elephant behaviors and protecting habitats.  Wines available include Cabernet, Merlot, Chardonnay, Grenache Rose’, and a Syrah Rouge Blend.

Eye of the Toad – Wines crafted by Toad Hollow Vineyards in Sonoma County, California.  It came about when two friends retired from the ‘real world’ and decided to shake up the wine world, and have some fun.  Their tag line of “Fine Wines at Reasonable Prices” says it all.  Wines include Chardonnay, Merlot, Zinfandel, a Pinot Noir Reserve, a Proprietary Red, a Dry Rose’ of Pinot Noir and two Sparkling French wines.

Fish Eye – An Australian winery with a nice line up of wines including Cabernet, Chardonnay, Merlot, Moscato, Pinot Grigio, Pinot Noir, Riesling, Sauvignon Blanc, and Shiraz.  With a tag line like: “This wine jumps put of your glass!”  How can you resist?

3 Blind Moose – From 3 Blind Moose Winery in Lodi, California.  Wines available include Chardonnay, Merlot, Cabernet, Pinot Grigio and Riesling. (No designated website.)

Bulls Blood – This is Hungary’s most famous red wine, and comes from the Eger region.  Legend has it that bulls blood was mixed into the red wine to give the Turkish soldiers strength in order to protect the town and castle of Eger in the 1500’s.  Now a new generation of winemakers takes advantage of the legend to tout their wines. (No designated website.)

The Dogs Bollocks – This is a very popular name for wine, beer, restaurants and pubs in England, Canada and South Africa. The wine by this name is a product of France and available in a Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Merlot and Cabernet. (No designated website.)

Types of People:

Vampire – Produced by Vampire Vineyards, near Paso Robles, California.  Wines include Chardonnay, Merlot, Cabernet, Pinot Grigio, Pinot Noir, and White Zinfandel.  Other vamp-related lines are available including Dracula, Chateau du Vampire and Trueblood.  Great tag line: “Sip the blood of the vine!”

Mad Housewife – A California wine that caters to women and the retro sixties. With the philosophy that wine should be fun and relaxing, how could you resist?  Wines include Chardonnay, Cabernet, Merlot, White Zinfandel and a Besitos Sweet White and Red vintage.  Their tag line: "What's domestic bliss without a little wine?”   I’ll drink to that!

Marilyn Merlot – Nova wines of California licensed the image of Marilyn Monroe from her estate backing 1986 and each vintage features a different photo of her.  Enjoy Marilyn Merlot, Blonde de Noirs, Norma Jean, Sauvignon Blonde, Red Dresss, Marilyn Cabernet, and four wines from the Velvet Collection.

Mommy’s Time out – Wines from Italy that offer fruity flavor and a lasting finish.  Wines include Pinot Grigio and Rosso Primitivo.

Naughty Girl – Crafted by Von Stiehl Winery in arched limestone caverns in Wisconsin.  Naughty Girl is a red wine listed among ten other red wines made there.  Check out their listings of white wines, which include a White Stiletto.

Old Fart – This is a blend of Syrah and Grenache made from old vines, some up to 45 years old. Crafted in France, using traditional French winemaking methods, the result is a robust and spicy red wine with unforgettable character – what any Old Fart should be! (No designated website.)

This Could Be Heaven or This Could Be Hell –

7 Deadly Zins – Created by Michael David Winery in California, 7 Deadly Zins is aged in French and American oak.  This wine is a blend of Zinfandel with Petite Sirah and Petite Verdot.  Complete with a 90 point wine rating, and all seven sins are listed on the label: sloth, envy, gluttony, lust, greed, anger and pride.

Cardinal Zin – A product from Big House Wine Company of California.  Not only do they offer this Zinfandel but also other humorously named wines such as The Usual Suspect Cabernet, The Birdman Pinot Grigio, The Slammer Syrah, and Unchained Naked Chardonnay.

Pinot Evil – A wine of Hungary, grown in an area known as Hungary’s Riviera.  Cold fermentation and barrel aging optimize the fruit intensity.  Not bad for such “a guilty pleasure.”

Blasted Church – Blasted Church Vineyards is located in the Okanogan Valley of British Columbia, Canada. There are six offerings in their Revered Series of wines including, Swear to God Chardonnay, OMG Sparkling Wine, Nothing Sacred Meritage, Holy Moly Petit Verdot, Cross to Bear Malbec Syrah, and Amen non-vintage Port de Merlot. Twelve more are offered in their storytelling series of wines. Great name, great story, great graphics and labels, great website – All I can say is “You had me at ….. Blasted Church!”

Sex Sells:

Hot to Trot – 14 Hands of Washington State offers two Hot to Trot wines, a red and a white.  The red is a blend of Merlot, Cabernet, and Syrah from the Columbia Valley.  The white is crafted from Chardonnay, Pinto Gris, and Viognier. I’m just surprised a winery in Kentucky didn’t think of this name for the horsy set.

Sloppy Seconds – And speaking of Kentucky - Lovers Leap Vineyard and Winery of Lawrenceburg, Kentucky decided to play up on the love aspect in their name with wines such as Amore Red & White.  But, what to do with the remains?  Ah…that sounds like Sloppy Seconds!  The red version is a blend of Merlot, Cabernet Franc and Chambourcin.
Sloppy White is blended of Riesling, Chardonnay, Vidal Blanc and Cayuga.  Regardless of what you call it, just think of it as “Passion, Bottled!”

Ménage a’ Trois – Called a playful blend of three grapes in one bottle.  Wines include a California Red blend of Zinfandel, Cabernet, and Merlot, and a white blend of Chardonnay, Chenin Blanc, and Moscato.  Also offered is a Moscato, Chardonnay, and Rose,’ each featuring three like grapes from three different counties. Regardless of how they’re blended, these grapes make the perfect threesome.

Fourplay – Dievole offers us Fourplay from Sicily.  A red wine blended from four Italian grapes; Nerello Cappuccio, Nerello Mascalese, Nero D”Avola and Frappato Nero.  Actually, all you need to remember is this is a less expensive alternative to those higher end Chiantis – more bang for less buck.  (And isn’t that Fourplay is all about?)

Big Pecker – Big Pecker Wines from the Florida Keys offers a Cabernet blend and a Chardonnay blend.  The Cabernet is crafted by adding a light blend of Petit Verdot, Petite Sirah, and Merlot.  The Chardonnay is blended with a touch of Pinot Gris, Sauvignon Blanc, and Late Harvest Viognier. Big Pecker wines would probably make a great gift for any parrot-head in your life.

And there are so many more!  Have a favorite?  Speak up and let us know what we’ve been missing!  Because, as these names show -
Wine should be FUN!!

So ……Go on already, and

~ Joy


  1. Check out Frolicking Frog at Some pretty good wine from the Paso Robles area. Cheers!

  2. Xochitl,

    Love the name!! Thanks for sharing it.